Abbie Not Abigail

Okay I'll admit it, I'm cheating a bit. No I didn't take this picture today.... but it does have to do with what I did today so work with me here...

Today I got to sub at the school that I student taught in last semester. When I walked down the hall I felt like a celebrity.

 "Miss Pickett's back!" "Are you in our class today?" "Are you married yet?" "I miss you!" "Brenden thinks your hott and called you sexy Miss. Pickett"

... and the ridiculous things students said to me could just go on and on...

Today it hit me in the face how much of an influence I have on these kids. These students look up to me in such a big way. Each one of these crazy characters has a story. Insecurities, fears, lack of love, divorced parents, abusive parents, peer pressure... you name it. These things infest these young ones lives.

 Lately I've struggled to realize my purpose with where God has me right now. I feel like I'm in a limbo between graduating from college and really establishing where God wants me in life.. I want my own classroom. I want adventure. I want stability. I want a steady income. I want benefits. I want to fast forward and see where I'll be in 5 years. Through all of this, essentially, I'm robbing myself of the joy of where God has me RIGHT NOW. I'm trying to fast forward and get somewhere and I don't even know where that somewhere is. I need to daily remind myself that God already has me in my mission field. It may not be my own classroom right now. It may be subbing in a kindergarten room, wiping snotty noses and tying shoelaces. It may be coaching middle school girls in volleyball and pretending to know what I'm doing but secretly "winging it". What scares me the most about this stage of life is the dreaming and romanticizing of things to come... Yes, it's so good to dream and desire things,  I'm not denying that. But I think sometimes we overlook where God has us now and the impact we can make RIGHT NOW in the midst of all of our own planning.... 

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9